It is that time of year again when we are prone to become one of the "herd" and get caught up in our desire to belong to the group. One of the things that happens during the holidays is a tendency to do things that we do not really want to do as a way to insure our group membership, whether that membership is with our family groups, our work groups or our social networks. It is not easy to go against the group pressure to belong and to think and decide independently of the group what we really want for ourselves this season. Many people want to slow down and simplify and forces work against that. Others may need time to think about the events of the past year. Most people do not want to spend as much money as they do but feel pressures to reciprocate in kind.
This is a good time to think as an independent person what you most need and want and it is not likely to be a material good. It is more likely to be a feeling of being at peace, being contented with life and feeling loved by others. Expressing to others what they mean to you verbally is often harder to do than to give a gift and it may have more impact. If you are a parent, beware of the overstimulation that tends to go along with this season. It is TOO long for most children to tolerate so try not to begin holiday talk until about 2 weeks before the holiday. Threatening to withhold gifts for bad behavior puts a lot of unhappy pressure on children as does too many sweets and too many gifts. Children are happiest when they are getting rest, not waiting for a huge event, eating healthily and playing without concern about being watched by mythical characters. Three gifts is about what most can tolerate and appreciate. Put the others away for another time. Do your best to keep this a time of simple pleasures and even though you may not to stick to it perfectly, you can make it more pleasurable and less costly.